001 || video

[fightforthelost]

As if the place didn't smell bad enough already without fresh water.

[Yo, Omega. Have Commander Shepard, the one with a Y chromosome, holding a pyjak firmly by the tail. The little bastard squirms and flails, but Shepard just keeps on holding it tightly.]

Aria, if you're listening, your rock has really gone downhill lately. [So understated in the most deadpan voice ever.]

Pretty soon we'll all be drinking our own recycled waste and bunking with pyjaks.

[And then he just tosses the creature off-screen. There's a loud noise as the poor devil probably lands amidst some crates and scurries off. Shepard switches his omni-tool to a private channel, so unless you're one of the Normanderps, you're not really going to see anything but static.]

[Private to Normandy crew//unhackable (unless you're some badass AI probably)]

I need a head count and a status update. Also, if anybody's had any luck on finding a shuttle out of here, drinks are on me.

Comments

[video]

[motivationalspeaker]

Pretty soon? I've already had to chase a few of them out of my dwelling. One of them almost made off with my pistol.

Re: [video]

[fightforthelost]

Great. Now we have to worry about pyjaks with weapons.

Re: [video]

[motivationalspeaker]

I'd thought I'd secured it well enough, apparently I was mistaken.

In any case, I'm sure they'd be easy enough to disarm.

Re: [video]

[fightforthelost]

Not exactly Reapers we're dealing with, so there's that.

You adjusting well to Omega?

Re: [video]

[motivationalspeaker]

In all honesty, I haven't had much trouble adapting to this place. My training's paid off here a lot more than I expected it to.

[ video]

[dowhatittakes]

As far as I've been able to tell we've lost the other Shepard and I haven't heard from Jack at all. I'm not sure if there's anyone else that I'm overlooking.

Re: [ video]

[fightforthelost]

We're going to have to start keeping a list. This was a lot easier when everyone was together on the Normandy.

Re: [ video]

[dowhatittakes]

It was, but I can keep a running document on who is around. It might help us keep track of people from different time streams as well.

Re: [ video]

[fightforthelost]

Good idea. I don't think any of us are from the same universe.

private

[herewegoto]

Have a destination in mind, Shep? Think the Normandy's a little occupied these days.

Re: private

[fightforthelost]

Nowhere specific unless "anywhere out of here" qualifies.

permaencrypted

[herewegoto]

Hear tuchanka's nice this time of year.

[fightforthelost]

Irradiated wasteland? Yeah, I'd take that over Omega.

[Video]

[salarian_savant]

[Don't mind him and the hectic scenery. The clinic is a little busy today.]

Short on time, Shepard. Loss of water has proven problematic as expected.

[Ignore him as he sets a pyjak on fire. Horrible creatures. They keep trying to make off with his stuff.]

Re: [Video]

[fightforthelost]

Understatement of the day.

[Hahah, flaming pyjak. Would kind of be amusing if Shepard wasn't annoyed with this whole situation.]

You need some help?

[Video]

[salarian_savant]

Do not wish to cause alarm. Create more difficulties.

[It actually wouldn't be the first time he's set one on fire. Tuchanka is full of them. He hates them hanging around the clinic too. It's about time he starts setting traps.]

With patients or pyjaks? [He shrugs.] Have water situation temporarily relieved. Hawke capable of creating ice and melting it. Will manage. Pyjaks, on other hand, attempting to steal equipment.

Re: [Video]

[fightforthelost]

I wouldn't be much use helping with the patients. I'm better at harming than healing.

Who is Hawke?

[VIDEO]

[calibrating]

Checking in. This no-water business is causing some serious unrest.

What's the crew count look like?

Re: [VIDEO]

[fightforthelost]

So far you, Liara, Mordin, and Kasumi have checked in. Liara mentioned she hasn't been able to contact Jack, and my female counterpart seems to be AWOL.

Kirrahe got in contact as well. Figured we'd make him honorary crew since he's trustworthy.

Re: [VIDEO]

[calibrating]

[Well that's shocked him so hard that it's taken him a while to respond]

[Actually I was just procrastinating but let's pretend it's true for dramatic effect]

[dun dun dunnnnn]

...Think Jack and Raquel were casualties?

Re: [VIDEO]

[fightforthelost]

[There's a bit of a pause before he responds.]

Jack wouldn't go out without taking half of Omega with her. Same for Raquel if she's anything like me.

video;

[airraid]

[have your favorite pilot, commander.

grinning even though he doesn't have a goddamn thing to grin about.]

You know I'm still here, but .. yeah, about that whole finding a shuttle out of here thing? Still workin' on that.

Still alive and kickin', though! Isn't that the important part?

Re: video;

[fightforthelost]

Maybe.

[he's fuckin' with you, really.]

Depends on how you smell. Found anywhere to shower?

[airraid]

[rude, commander.

of course he's fucking with him. it's all he ever does. :|

and now he's squinting into his omni-tool.] I've been taking whore baths for the past couple of days but at least I don't smell like a batarian's ass. I think that's gotta count for somethin', right?

[fightforthelost]

Joker, sometimes I have to wonder if you come up with these metaphors when you have nothing else to do and just save them for the perfect moment.