001 || video

[fightforthelost]

As if the place didn't smell bad enough already without fresh water.

[Yo, Omega. Have Commander Shepard, the one with a Y chromosome, holding a pyjak firmly by the tail. The little bastard squirms and flails, but Shepard just keeps on holding it tightly.]

Aria, if you're listening, your rock has really gone downhill lately. [So understated in the most deadpan voice ever.]

Pretty soon we'll all be drinking our own recycled waste and bunking with pyjaks.

[And then he just tosses the creature off-screen. There's a loud noise as the poor devil probably lands amidst some crates and scurries off. Shepard switches his omni-tool to a private channel, so unless you're one of the Normanderps, you're not really going to see anything but static.]

[Private to Normandy crew//unhackable (unless you're some badass AI probably)]

I need a head count and a status update. Also, if anybody's had any luck on finding a shuttle out of here, drinks are on me.

Comments

video;

[airraid]

[have your favorite pilot, commander.

grinning even though he doesn't have a goddamn thing to grin about.]

You know I'm still here, but .. yeah, about that whole finding a shuttle out of here thing? Still workin' on that.

Still alive and kickin', though! Isn't that the important part?

Re: video;

[fightforthelost]

Maybe.

[he's fuckin' with you, really.]

Depends on how you smell. Found anywhere to shower?

[airraid]

[rude, commander.

of course he's fucking with him. it's all he ever does. :|

and now he's squinting into his omni-tool.] I've been taking whore baths for the past couple of days but at least I don't smell like a batarian's ass. I think that's gotta count for somethin', right?

[fightforthelost]

Joker, sometimes I have to wonder if you come up with these metaphors when you have nothing else to do and just save them for the perfect moment.

[airraid]

As a matter of fact, I devote half an hour every night to just that. Got a whole notebook full of shit I'm just waiting to use.

[fightforthelost]

I believe it.

Let's just hope they turn the water back on soon. I'm not really buying the whole 'shortage' explanation. Somebody's behind it.

[airraid]

Damn right you do.

You don't, huh? You think this is just some elaborate plot to make us all work together and team-build or some shit?

[fightforthelost]

I doubt they've got our well-being and teamwork in mind, but hey, I've been surprised before.

[airraid]

Well .. this is Omega. Everybody's got ulterior motives here.

You have any idea at all, or are you just operating under assumptions?