03 | text

[tradecraftdude]

MISSING

PET PYJAK
ANSWERS 2 JOEY
DO NOT SHOOT
DO NOT EAT
DO NOT FEED BACON

RSPND 2 THIS MSG W/LEADS

[ Attached to the post is a slightly blurry photograph of a pyjak wearing a harness made out of cable ties, and a dogtag around its neck reads 'JOEY RAMOAN'. ]

Comments

[shutupmarco]

I am real, thanks. What are you talking about?

[tradecraftdude]

ur not reel 2 me

cuz the reel u totaly dated me

[ wow marco regrets sending that the second he does but oops too late ]

[shutupmarco]

Again, it's sad that you're just resorting to making stuff up to try to get at me. Nice try, Marco. Like I'd ever date you in any universe.

[tradecraftdude]

w/e

u live in ur dreem world i live in mine k

[shutupmarco]

Seriously, Marco. Not funny.

[tradecraftdude]

everythings funny lol

bet ur just mad u werent cool enuff in ur world 2 date ne1

[shutupmarco]

Uh, you're the one that's forever single, dweeb. Except in your dreams, of course.

[tradecraftdude]

rly rachel

rly

tell me 1 person uv dated

1

ne1

[shutupmarco]

Uh, none of your beeswax, loser. How about you name one person you've dated -- who isn't featured in a poster on your bedroom wall?

[tradecraftdude]

i asked u 1st!!

so its prety obvious ur answer is NONE

[shutupmarco]

[ yeah okay Rachel would so rather admit to being single than to having a confusing friendcrush on a bird ]

Fine, you got me. I don't have a boyfriend. Who says I even want one? That doesn't mean you've done any better.

[tradecraftdude]

ive totaly done beter

i liked my rachel beter than u

bet shes a beter kisser

1/3

[shutupmarco]

[ okay he's taking this joke way too far

unless

it's not a joke ]

[shutupmarco]

[ oh god

no no no no ]

[shutupmarco]

EW GROSS

[tradecraftdude]

u might think that at first

but face it rachel

uve always been madly in love with me

just so hapens that the u from my world came in2 the light

[shutupmarco]

Oh my god, what went SO WRONG in your universe that I felt compelled to date YOU? I hope it was a dare. I hope somebody paid me to kiss you.

[tradecraftdude]

nah

i asked and u thought i was cool

all there is 2 it

so how bout u? gonna give in 2 fate 2?

[shutupmarco]

You know what, Marco? You're right. I can't believe I didn't see it sooner. I should totally be your girlfriend.

[tradecraftdude]

c ud come around eventualy

so srlsy how about catching a movie sometime

got a lotta lost ground 2 make up

[shutupmarco]

Yeah, you're absolutely right, Marco. After all, if the hands of fate are conspiring against me, it's not like I have any choice. My only regret is that it's taken me sooooo long to see the truth. I mean, what could possibly have been clouding all of my judgment? Gosh, it must be all this blonde hair, messing with my brain. Duhhhhhhhhhhh.

[tradecraftdude]

.....ok actualy can u cut that out its srsly giving me the willies when u dont argue with me

[shutupmarco]

But I thought you wanted me to be your girlfriend. Don't you WANT that, Marco?

[tradecraftdude]

i want RACHEL

not this bizaro twilight zone bs

swear 2 god ur worse than her

[shutupmarco]

Sorry, loser, I am Rachel. And maybe if you'd stop being a giant creep for like, five minutes, you'd see that.