03 | text

[tradecraftdude]

MISSING

PET PYJAK
ANSWERS 2 JOEY
DO NOT SHOOT
DO NOT EAT
DO NOT FEED BACON

RSPND 2 THIS MSG W/LEADS

[ Attached to the post is a slightly blurry photograph of a pyjak wearing a harness made out of cable ties, and a dogtag around its neck reads 'JOEY RAMOAN'. ]

Comments

[tradecraftdude]

everythings funny lol

bet ur just mad u werent cool enuff in ur world 2 date ne1

[shutupmarco]

Uh, you're the one that's forever single, dweeb. Except in your dreams, of course.

[tradecraftdude]

rly rachel

rly

tell me 1 person uv dated

1

ne1

[shutupmarco]

Uh, none of your beeswax, loser. How about you name one person you've dated -- who isn't featured in a poster on your bedroom wall?

[tradecraftdude]

i asked u 1st!!

so its prety obvious ur answer is NONE

[shutupmarco]

[ yeah okay Rachel would so rather admit to being single than to having a confusing friendcrush on a bird ]

Fine, you got me. I don't have a boyfriend. Who says I even want one? That doesn't mean you've done any better.

[tradecraftdude]

ive totaly done beter

i liked my rachel beter than u

bet shes a beter kisser

1/3

[shutupmarco]

[ okay he's taking this joke way too far

unless

it's not a joke ]

[shutupmarco]

[ oh god

no no no no ]

[shutupmarco]

EW GROSS

[tradecraftdude]

u might think that at first

but face it rachel

uve always been madly in love with me

just so hapens that the u from my world came in2 the light

[shutupmarco]

Oh my god, what went SO WRONG in your universe that I felt compelled to date YOU? I hope it was a dare. I hope somebody paid me to kiss you.

[tradecraftdude]

nah

i asked and u thought i was cool

all there is 2 it

so how bout u? gonna give in 2 fate 2?

[shutupmarco]

You know what, Marco? You're right. I can't believe I didn't see it sooner. I should totally be your girlfriend.

[tradecraftdude]

c ud come around eventualy

so srlsy how about catching a movie sometime

got a lotta lost ground 2 make up

[shutupmarco]

Yeah, you're absolutely right, Marco. After all, if the hands of fate are conspiring against me, it's not like I have any choice. My only regret is that it's taken me sooooo long to see the truth. I mean, what could possibly have been clouding all of my judgment? Gosh, it must be all this blonde hair, messing with my brain. Duhhhhhhhhhhh.

[tradecraftdude]

.....ok actualy can u cut that out its srsly giving me the willies when u dont argue with me

[shutupmarco]

But I thought you wanted me to be your girlfriend. Don't you WANT that, Marco?

[tradecraftdude]

i want RACHEL

not this bizaro twilight zone bs

swear 2 god ur worse than her

[shutupmarco]

Sorry, loser, I am Rachel. And maybe if you'd stop being a giant creep for like, five minutes, you'd see that.

warn warn warn warn warn warn

[tradecraftdude]

ill stop bein a creep if u stop bein a total nutjob

o wait thats not rlly posible

cause ur

i
n
s
a
n
e

[shutupmarco]

I'm insane? You're the one who can't get his head out of his ass over me not being his girlfriend in another stupid timeline. And what, you expect to win me over by ignoring me and then demanding that I date you to fix your own little personal reality? Get over yourself, Marco.

[tradecraftdude]

there we go

thats more like the rachel i no ;)

[shutupmarco]

Not according to you.

[tradecraftdude]

actualy rly u bare a p. good resemblance 2 her the bitchier u get

cmon rachel do u wanna b more like my rachel or more like ur rachel