03 | text

[tradecraftdude]

MISSING

PET PYJAK
ANSWERS 2 JOEY
DO NOT SHOOT
DO NOT EAT
DO NOT FEED BACON

RSPND 2 THIS MSG W/LEADS

[ Attached to the post is a slightly blurry photograph of a pyjak wearing a harness made out of cable ties, and a dogtag around its neck reads 'JOEY RAMOAN'. ]

Comments

[tradecraftdude]

wtf how does a complete dweeb like u find 2 girls 2 live with???

[jumpiness]

HEY

not a complete dweeb

also the girl you were arguing with, lydia, she's from my home town.

the other i met when she arrived, she's been chilling here.

[tradecraftdude]

ugh lydias so annoying

whats the other girls name maybe ill have beter luck w/her

i started giggling

[jumpiness]

she is not annoying she's just really smart, dude.

her name is rachel? she's like this crazy warrior fashion goddess.

they're getting along and it's scary.

1/3

[tradecraftdude]

..........................

2/3

[tradecraftdude]

..........................

3/3

[tradecraftdude]

ARE YOU COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE

i laughed again

[jumpiness]

no??

i'm pretty sane dude what is there something I should know about her

[ uncomfortable reminder he watched her turn into an alien creature that beat up batarians and they still haven't really talked about it ]

[tradecraftdude]

yea

u should no that shes totaly crazy

like unstable out of her mind malfunctional

and kind of a bitch

[jumpiness]

look man idk but she's been pretty chill so far.

most of the women i know can be bitchy so i believe that but maybe she just doesn't like you.

also you know she can read this right

[tradecraftdude]

just u wait

she had no reason 2 dislike me

just
u
wait

[ marco's going to ignore that last bit because who the fuck cares ]

[jumpiness]

well

okay buddy.

btw, still haven't matched up for that cheeseburger vs pizza show.

[tradecraftdude]

k i was gonna get lunch neway

id bring something over but not if she-who-must-not-b-named is around

[jumpiness]

ha ha ha

where do you u work i'll bring a burger by, i think i've seen a place.

[tradecraftdude]

k sure good luck finding a reel burger

[ have some coords to the pizza shop, bro ]

[jumpiness]

shut your mouth it'll be the best burger ever.

[ annnnd coordinates recieved, he goes about buying two cheeseburgers to share with this kid. oddly enough, he has a feeling they're probably varren or synthetic meat or whatever, but as long as they taste like cow, he doesn't complain, and they've been okay thus far.

no mcdonalds but what can you do.

with a bag in hand he finds the pizza shop and starts looking for the kid in question. he doesn't actually expect this kid to be younger than rachel, but he looks a little. still, stiles wanders over to him and shakes the bag at him. ]

Yo dawg.

[tradecraftdude]

[ look MARCO'S JUST SMALL FOR HIS AGE OKAY

he's hanging around outside of the shop, sitting on the step where he usually waits for orders to be called in, and gives stiles a little cool-guy lift of the chin. ]

Yo homewrecker.

[jumpiness]

[ the comment makes him splutter a little. ]

Dude, I'm not wrecking any homes that I know of.

[ though it's obviously something referencing what's going on between rachel and marco, stiles is playing dumb, and affects a wounded look. ]

And here I brought you lunch and everything.

[tradecraftdude]

Uh huh, I know a guilty look when I see one, dude. [ because marco needs to blame someone for this shit ] But whatever, okay, like, totally not any of my business anymore.

[ he'll grab at the bag anyway, after producing a box containing a few cold leftover slices. ]

[jumpiness]

I think you have guilty and confused mixed up there, Casanova.

[ stiles isn't actually annoyed, mostly because - well, he kinda gets it? so he just lets it roll off his shoulders and takes the pizza box, but not before stealing his burger out of the bag and then letting marco grab it. ]

Just in case your pizza sucks, dude. What's on these slices anyway?

[tradecraftdude]

Barbecued pyjak.

[ his expression is perfectly serious as he pulls out a burger and unwraps it. either it's true and marco is desperately ignoring the fact that he might be enabling people to eat his missing pet, or he's totally pulling stiles's leg here. ]

[jumpiness]

[ stiles looks at marco and then at the pizza, and then shrugs. either marco is pulling his leg, or...

he takes a bite. it's not bad. might have been better hot. ]

Tastes okay.

[tradecraftdude]

[ meanwhile, marco peels open the bun and makes a face at the mess he finds. ]

Are you sure this is a burger? I've seen refried beans that looked like my fourth grade lunch lady vomited it into a vat that looked better than this.

the jello is moving.

[jumpiness]

[ stiles rolls his eyes and folds up a slice of pizza. ]

It's a burger. A proper messy, slightly undercooked burger, none of that compartmented McDonald's stuff. Try it, you'll love it.

[ okay so stiles was being forgiving when he said 'decent'. ]

just like your butt

[tradecraftdude]

[ reluctantly, he takes a nibble, face scrunched up pre-emptively as if he knows it's already going to be horrible.

actually, it's not anywhere near as bad as the face he makes. ]

Tastes okay.

[ he mirrors stiles's reaction to the pizza with a little smirk. ]