outsiders | 03

k sure good luck finding a reel burger

[ have some coords to the pizza shop, bro ]

shut your mouth it'll be the best burger ever.

[ annnnd coordinates recieved, he goes about buying two cheeseburgers to share with this kid. oddly enough, he has a feeling they're probably varren or synthetic meat or whatever, but as long as they taste like cow, he doesn't complain, and they've been okay thus far.

no mcdonalds but what can you do.

with a bag in hand he finds the pizza shop and starts looking for the kid in question. he doesn't actually expect this kid to be younger than rachel, but he looks a little. still, stiles wanders over to him and shakes the bag at him. ]

Yo dawg.

[ look MARCO'S JUST SMALL FOR HIS AGE OKAY

he's hanging around outside of the shop, sitting on the step where he usually waits for orders to be called in, and gives stiles a little cool-guy lift of the chin. ]

Yo homewrecker.

[ the comment makes him splutter a little. ]

Dude, I'm not wrecking any homes that I know of.

[ though it's obviously something referencing what's going on between rachel and marco, stiles is playing dumb, and affects a wounded look. ]

And here I brought you lunch and everything.

Uh huh, I know a guilty look when I see one, dude. [ because marco needs to blame someone for this shit ] But whatever, okay, like, totally not any of my business anymore.

[ he'll grab at the bag anyway, after producing a box containing a few cold leftover slices. ]

I think you have guilty and confused mixed up there, Casanova.

[ stiles isn't actually annoyed, mostly because - well, he kinda gets it? so he just lets it roll off his shoulders and takes the pizza box, but not before stealing his burger out of the bag and then letting marco grab it. ]

Just in case your pizza sucks, dude. What's on these slices anyway?

Barbecued pyjak.

[ his expression is perfectly serious as he pulls out a burger and unwraps it. either it's true and marco is desperately ignoring the fact that he might be enabling people to eat his missing pet, or he's totally pulling stiles's leg here. ]

[ stiles looks at marco and then at the pizza, and then shrugs. either marco is pulling his leg, or...

he takes a bite. it's not bad. might have been better hot. ]

Tastes okay.

[ meanwhile, marco peels open the bun and makes a face at the mess he finds. ]

Are you sure this is a burger? I've seen refried beans that looked like my fourth grade lunch lady vomited it into a vat that looked better than this.

[ stiles rolls his eyes and folds up a slice of pizza. ]

It's a burger. A proper messy, slightly undercooked burger, none of that compartmented McDonald's stuff. Try it, you'll love it.

[ okay so stiles was being forgiving when he said 'decent'. ]

[ reluctantly, he takes a nibble, face scrunched up pre-emptively as if he knows it's already going to be horrible.

actually, it's not anywhere near as bad as the face he makes. ]

Tastes okay.

[ he mirrors stiles's reaction to the pizza with a little smirk. ]

[ stiles rolls his eyes and shoves one knee against marco's, taking another bite of pizza. ]

Okay? Just okay? You sure that burger didn't just rock your world?

[ insert spastic eyebrow twitching here. ]

[ and marco's going to reciprocate that by elbowing stiles in the ribs before taking his next bite. ]

You know what would rock my world? An actual Taco Bell. And an Auntie Anne's. And a Baskin Robbins. Hell, I'll even take a Burger King if we can't get a McD's out here.

[ you'd think he actually enjoys torturing himself like this. ]

[ stiles makes a dramatic moan, setting down his pizza and holding his ribs. then he makes another noise for a different reason. ]

Taco Bell, oh my god. I would freakin' kill for a chalupa right now.

[ marco sets down his burger for a moment; the look he gives stiles is one that is deadly serious. ]

Dude. You know what this means, right? 'cause I'm gonna tell you what this means. We. Need. To. [ pause for dramatic effect ] Find a way to import that shit onto this rock. We'd be rich. And soooo happy.

[ stiles looks at marco, quirking one eyebrow up. ]

I am all for being the owner of a Taco Bell franchise, but dude. How the hell are we going to get it? It's not like they have transporters on here.

You're going about this the wrong way, pal. Listen. You know what Taco Bell tastes like. I know what Taco Bell tastes like. Who's saying that with our powers combined, we can't make Taco Bell?

[ he waves at the inert omni-tool on his wrist ]

Come on, I'm sure there's a way to make this thing extrude chalupas. I'll even dress up Joey to look like that stupid dog, if I ever find him again.

[ the idea does make some sense, and stiles raises a hand to rub at his chin. ]

Hey, you're right. I mean, we just make recipes that taste the same, sell them, we've got to have something going on.

Plus, we're in the middle of nowhere. No copy write infringement to worry about.

[ stiles gives him a look, quirking a brow up. ]

I don't think monkeys should be near food.

He's not a monkey, okay? Every good business needs a mascot. Tony the Tiger. Ronald McDonald. Colonel Sanders. We'll have Joey Burrito. Taco Joey? Maybe I'll rename him José.

Chalupa Joe.

[ the name comes to him unto high, but he still waves his hands around. ]

All right, mascots, jeez, but not near the food. We still gotta get a hold of a whole bunch of shit to make Taco Bell. The overhead on this will be killer.

Chalupa Joe? Man, that's almost as good as something I'd come up with! I'll buy it!

[ marco pulls up a screen on his omni-tool and starts flipping through market listings as they talk. ]

I've got a little bit of capital that I think I'd be willing to sink into this, but we really should find ourselves like an actual backer. Honestly, though, how much stuff could we possibly need? We could run this out of a window with a microwave and a minifridge until it gets off the ground.

[ stiles snorts, but leans over to look at marco's listings. annnnd they make zero sense to him, he's not a market guy. ]

I have some saved up too. [ a little while later, he's going to lose it all denting joker's shuttle. he nods at the microwave and mini-fridge suggestion and then hums. ]

I know a couple people, though. There's this chick York, works in a bar - maybe we could promise to pay her back. Or we could ask someone else.

You really think York is gonna be into this? [ on second thought, if he can convince her that it'll help keep him out of trouble... ] But whatever, it's worth a shot. If we pester everyone we know, someone's bound to cough up some cash. It's an investment opportunity!

[ he stops for a moment and gives stiles a suspicious look ]

Wait, how do you know York?

Well, she might be willing to try? [ stiles shrugs a shoulder. ] And hell, if we just ask for a little from a lot of people that's easier than asking for a bunch from one.

[ stiles pauses and then quirks a brow at marco. ]

Met her when she was working at the bar. Why?

Small station, I guess. Go figure. She and I go totally way back, though. I bet I can get her to chip in. Almost everyone else I know on this rock is kind of a bum as far as cashflow goes, though.

[ he goes back to looking at shit on his omni-tool; dollar signs are practically oozing from his pores. ]

I don't think we'll be able to handle having a storefront to start with, but if we run this as a mobile unit we can cover a wider range of customers and locations while maintaining the same base of operations.

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the jello is moving.

just like your butt

jello butt

boooootaaaay

jigglin everywhere

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the operation doomed to failure

glorious failure

C:

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