( 001; video )

[airraid]

[well if this isn't freaking great.

so, he's missed the part about zeta district being quarantined until just now, and he can't say he likes the look of what the hell is going on out there. he's seen these things before - because uh, didn't we just have to deal with this? come on! but it doesn't surprise him to see that here are still some stragglers left behind.

he peers into his omni-tool with one eyebrow raised, a very unimpressed expression sliding across his face.] So, I dunno about you guys, but I think I'm gonna stay inside for this one. It looks like it's raining bullets and damn if I didn't forget my bulletproof galoshes.

[pause.] I thought we got rid of all these things. Hey, either of you Shepards - what the hell's the deal?

Comments

[airraid]

.. Did you think you were getting paid for this?

Garrus, bro.

I'm broke.

Give me all of your charity.

[CHEEKY GRIN? YOU BET.]

[calibrating]

Huh. Well now that you mention it, I could use a few extra credits.

[pa-pa-pa-pokerfaaace]

[airraid]

What part of B-R-O-K-E didn't come across? I need to hurry up and find a job before Aria decides to throw my crippled ass out.

[first the little mermaid, now lady gaga? garrus, we need to have a chat about your exposure to earth culture.]

[calibrating]

She's not gonna throw you out, Joker. Not if either of the Shepards has anything to say about it.

So, if anything, it's them you gotta avoid pissing off for once.

[airraid]

.. Point.

[huff.]

That means I gotta be on my best behavior, doesn't it?

[calibrating]

Or something close to it, yeah.

At least make an effort.

[airraid]

If I say I'll try to be good, do I get brownie points?

It's a legitimate question.

[calibrating]

...What the hell is a brownie?

[THERE'S YOUR ANSWER JOKER]

[airraid]

[..

...

....

oh right he's talking to a turian.]

Just the best, most delicious chocolatey dessert you'll ever put in your - ohhhh, wait. You can't eat human food. Well, then I guess you'll never know the bliss of a brownie sundae with hot fudge whipped cream. Man, you're missing out.

[calibrating]

...Honestly, that sounds pretty disgusting.

[airraid]

.. I'm gonna pretend you didn't just offend one of the most delicious things ever to come out of Earth's culinary history.


[:|]

[calibrating]

Uh-huh.

[Honestly that was one of the most painful things to write ever BROWNIES ARE PERFECT YO 8(]

[airraid]

What would a turian know about delicious desserts, anyway .. you guys have gizzards, right? [don't ask him how he knows that.] Doesn't that mean you eat pebbles and shit?

[because yes brownies are the most perfect things ever. :c]

[calibrating]

Pebbles? Nah.

We mostly swallow ammunition, and occasionally the bones of our enemies.

[turian pokerface get]

[airraid]

I wanna see you swallow an armor-piercing round and have it not tear that turian ass to shreds.

[p-p-p-p-poker faaaace.]

I've even give you ten credits if you do it.

[calibrating]

All right, sure.

Hell, I'll do it right now if you want.

[airraid]

[.. garrus.]

Save it for when you get here. I need to see this in person.

[calibrating]

Fair enough.

So along with saving you, I'm also performing a party trick. You owe me big time, Joker.