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[shutupmarco]

[ Rachel's in the feed, looking a mixture of angry and upset and honestly, kind of grossed out. For once, she looks like she might lose her cool. Or might have lost it already. Either way, she's holding a grease-stained takeout box in her hand, her lip pulled back in disgust. ]

You know, it's bad enough that both of my roommates just up and disappeared. It's bad enough that I'm stuck in this crummy apartment all by myself, when the blue bitch in charge has just locked us into the neighborhood. But when my food starts talking to me? I'm so done, okay?

[ She opens the top of the takeout box to show to the omni-tool feed -- the indistinguishable heap of food in the box looks perfectly innocuous at first, until it starts...wriggling. And then a couple of black bean mameshiba pop their heads above the surface with a little whoosh of air. They stare at the camera with wet, quivering eyes for a long moment before one of them starts to speak in a tiny voice and heavily affected English. ]

Do you know? Most lipstick contains fish scales --

[ Rachel snaps the top of the box shut, and the mameshiba inside let out muffled cries of dismay. Never has a teenaged girl looked this angry over bad takeout. Seriously, if looks can kill... Well, at least Rachel's grizzly morph can.

Her nostrils flare, her jaw set tight, and oh yeah, she looks pissed. Pissed to cover up being scared and upset because she's alone, and the food is infested with weird little Japanimation beans, and she doesn't like it when the rug gets pulled out from under her. ]

It's been crap like that, nonstop. Creepy, disgusting trivia every time I open the stupid box. And it's all so weird! Who even knows this stuff?

[ Nerds, Rachel. Nerds know this stuff. And right now, that makes her so angry.

She leans forward, eyes narrowed, and pronounces with total, seething conviction: ]

This. Is. So. Gross.

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[squanderlust]

[it doesn't look like Severa's been having any better a run of things. her hair is frazzled, like she hasn't slept in much longer than she's used to.]

I have zero idea where Starscream went, but if you told me he had exploded into these things, I would believe you entirely. I can't blame Aria for not wanting these on the rest of her station.

[she scowls, swatting a red one out of what used to be a pigtail but now hangs loose.]

How difficult are they to kill? Have you even tried it yet?

[shutupmarco]

The question isn't how hard they are to kill, it's whether or not I'm ever going to be able to look at takeout the same way ever again. Ugh.

[ Okay, okay, not the point. Rachel huffs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. ]

They squash pretty easy as long as you put some power into it. But more of them keep popping out. I'm not really sure they're not multiplying.

[ SHUDDER. UGH. ]

[squanderlust]

I don't want to think about these things multiplying. The food around here is unappetizing enough on its own.

[looking off to one side, she slams closed the lid of a nondescript box of take-out food.]

I don't know which would be worse, thousands of alive ones or thousands of corpses. This space station is disgusting.

[shutupmarco]

Ugh, tell me about it. What ever happened to health codes? Food safety laws? Either way, I'd still prefer them dead. At least then they wouldn't be talking to me.

[ She gives her own takeout container an uneasy stare. ]

Looking at me.

[squanderlust]

"Food safety"? Can your kings not think of anything better to put into law? A boar survives in nature, and we're more than able to survive on the boar.

[shutupmarco]

[ Okay, she can't help it. She lets out a little snort at "kings". Sure, Rachel lives in the middle of a secret alien invasion, but somehow the fact that Severa comes from someplace that sounds like out of one of Marco's video games is just a little much for her to take entirely seriously. Sometimes. ]

If you had McDonalds where you come from, you'd be pretty glad for food safety laws. Things work a little differently in my world.

[squanderlust]

Clearly! [gods, this is going to turn into a confusing conversation very fast. faster if Rachel keeps snorting.]

If this food is so unsafe to begin with, why do you continue to eat it?

[shutupmarco]

Uh, 'cause there isn't exactly a Subway in the Zeta markets. It's either this or starve. I'm not exactly making big bucks here.

[squanderlust]

I mean at home. Gods, do you think I know nothing about survival?

[shutupmarco]

Huh? Oh. [ Man if Marco were here she's sure he'd spout a few interesting conspiracy theories. ] It's not like I eat that much of it. But it's cheap, so if you don't have a lot of money, I guess you don't really have a lot o options, either.

[squanderlust]

Why do you need money for your food to begin with? Has hunting died out with the rest of what you're calling your culture?

[shutupmarco]

[ Rachel hurriedly clears her throat to keep from laughing. She really likes Severa, okay, as much as they butt heads sometimes, she's trying not to just laugh in her face. But...hunting. If only Cassie were here, she'd sure have a few things to say about that. ]

For most of us, yeah. I mean...look around here. Do these people look like they do much hunting to you?

[papshooshing]

WHAT'S WRONG WITH JUST EATING THE LITTLE FUCKERS?

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[shutupmarco]

You're joking, right? I don't know anything about these things or where they come from, and you think I'm going to put them in my mouth? Are you a toddler?

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[tradecraftdude]

Why don't you just turn into an anteater and slurp them up or something, huh?

[ not that marco's that pleased with them, either, but it's nice to see someone else suffering. ]

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[shutupmarco]

[ Ah yes, mutual suffering. Always a great bonding experience. ]

And then have them eat their way right back out of me? Uh, I don't think so. Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't you try eating one?

[tradecraftdude]

Are you kidding me? That's totally gross. I figure anteaters can handle weird crap like this if they can eat ants, right?

[ there's muffled rattling noises on marco's end. ]

Do you think these things need air to survive?

[shutupmarco]

These are not ants. They aren't even close. I don't think I'll take my chances, thanks. Besides, what do you care what they need to live? We need to find out what they need to die. [ She pauses a second, listening to the faint noises from Marco's end, and then her voice gets that angrily incredulous tone to it that her Marco is definitely familiar with by now, that raised-by-half-an-octave-even-if-she-won't-admit-it kind of shrill outburst. ]

Are you keeping those things as pets? Marco!

[tradecraftdude]

They're not pets, they're wares. Jeez.

[ There's a clattering noise, some of it sounding like protests, and then everything gets abruptly quiet for a moment. ]

Wanna come over and check 'em out?

[shutupmarco]

Uh huh. Why on earth would I want to do that?

[ Because Rachel would sooner die than admit to Marco that she's insanely homesick, and</> with Stiles and Lydia gone, incredibly lonely, too. As much as she might have complained about sharing space with her sisters, Rachel was never meant to live alone. And as much as she isn't really all that mad at Marco over their last conversation -- not anymore, at least -- she doesn't think she could bring herself to admit that she's actually starved for company. She'd like to hang out with Marco. ]

[tradecraftdude]

Uh, I dunno, to morph them or something? That's something you like doing, right?

[ He's grasping at straws here, but the invitation had tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop it, and now he just has to roll with it. Come on, Marco, you can come up with a better excuse than that. ]

You know, maybe if you do that, we can like, figure out what they want, and then we can figure out how to get rid of them.

[ Trying to keep it casual here. ]

oops didn't catch that bad html up there

[shutupmarco]

Okay, seriously, how useless would morphing one of these things be?

[ The retort comes automatically, without her really thinking about it, but she catches herself. Maybe she's imagining it, because she can never really tell with this Marco, but...it seems like he's being kind of weirdly nice to her. And...with Stiles and Lydia gone, Marco is one of the few friends she's got here. If she can even consider him a friend. Ugh, that's kind of sad.

She draws herself up a little, sounding like she's rolling her eyes, because come on, she has to play it off, okay. She can't let Marco know that she wants to hang out with him. For once. ]

Well, I guess if you're asking for my help, you really do need it. All right, I'll come over. ...No promises on morphing one of those things, though. Blegh.

i didn't even notice

[tradecraftdude]

Wait, who said anything about needing your help? I just thought you'd want to like. Come over and--[ He catches himself before he says 'hang out', and instead just coughs. There's another a little rattling noise as he fidgets with the jar. ] Uh. You know. See them. Because I have them in jars. And they're totally not running loose in the kitchen. Which means we can look at them and not worry about them being everywhere.

[ As if perfectly on cue, there's a big crash, and a chorus of jubilant voices. ]

Oh, shit. Gotta run. Here's-my-place-if-you-want-to-come-over-bye.

[ A location ping is attached as Marco cuts the feed on his end. ]

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[shutupmarco]

[ wow okay yeah this Marco has a penchant for being weird, but this is a brand of weird she's never gotten from him before. But it's a familiar kind of weird, because it's way more like her Marco. And that's...comforting.

God, if she ever does get back home, she's never admitting any of this to anybody.

Still, she can't get out of the house fast enough, after carefully inspecting her face to make sure it doesn't look like she's been crying. Then again, maybe Marco will be too preoccupied with these weird alien bean things to care one way or the other.

She finds the place without too much trouble, worrying what it'll look like that she got here so fast. Whatever, she could just say she morphed to run here. Yeah, that totally makes sense. God. She knocks on the door hurriedly, feeling a little antsier than usual. ]

Marco? Those things better have not started eating you alive or anything!

[tradecraftdude]

[ As if Marco's going to notice anything related to Rachel's appearance or willingness to arrive as soon as possible. Not when there are mameshiba loose in the apartment. ]

I'm pretty sure they can't open their mouths enough to do that!

[ He's shouting back through the door at her, though his voice is close, like he's just on the other side, but he doesn't open the door. Meanwhile, the excited chorus of DOYOUKNOWs is bubbling around him. ]

Are you sure you don't want to turn into an anteater?