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[shutupmarco]

[ Rachel's in the feed, looking a mixture of angry and upset and honestly, kind of grossed out. For once, she looks like she might lose her cool. Or might have lost it already. Either way, she's holding a grease-stained takeout box in her hand, her lip pulled back in disgust. ]

You know, it's bad enough that both of my roommates just up and disappeared. It's bad enough that I'm stuck in this crummy apartment all by myself, when the blue bitch in charge has just locked us into the neighborhood. But when my food starts talking to me? I'm so done, okay?

[ She opens the top of the takeout box to show to the omni-tool feed -- the indistinguishable heap of food in the box looks perfectly innocuous at first, until it starts...wriggling. And then a couple of black bean mameshiba pop their heads above the surface with a little whoosh of air. They stare at the camera with wet, quivering eyes for a long moment before one of them starts to speak in a tiny voice and heavily affected English. ]

Do you know? Most lipstick contains fish scales --

[ Rachel snaps the top of the box shut, and the mameshiba inside let out muffled cries of dismay. Never has a teenaged girl looked this angry over bad takeout. Seriously, if looks can kill... Well, at least Rachel's grizzly morph can.

Her nostrils flare, her jaw set tight, and oh yeah, she looks pissed. Pissed to cover up being scared and upset because she's alone, and the food is infested with weird little Japanimation beans, and she doesn't like it when the rug gets pulled out from under her. ]

It's been crap like that, nonstop. Creepy, disgusting trivia every time I open the stupid box. And it's all so weird! Who even knows this stuff?

[ Nerds, Rachel. Nerds know this stuff. And right now, that makes her so angry.

She leans forward, eyes narrowed, and pronounces with total, seething conviction: ]

This. Is. So. Gross.

Comments

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[squanderlust]

[it doesn't look like Severa's been having any better a run of things. her hair is frazzled, like she hasn't slept in much longer than she's used to.]

I have zero idea where Starscream went, but if you told me he had exploded into these things, I would believe you entirely. I can't blame Aria for not wanting these on the rest of her station.

[she scowls, swatting a red one out of what used to be a pigtail but now hangs loose.]

How difficult are they to kill? Have you even tried it yet?

[shutupmarco]

The question isn't how hard they are to kill, it's whether or not I'm ever going to be able to look at takeout the same way ever again. Ugh.

[ Okay, okay, not the point. Rachel huffs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. ]

They squash pretty easy as long as you put some power into it. But more of them keep popping out. I'm not really sure they're not multiplying.

[ SHUDDER. UGH. ]

[squanderlust]

I don't want to think about these things multiplying. The food around here is unappetizing enough on its own.

[looking off to one side, she slams closed the lid of a nondescript box of take-out food.]

I don't know which would be worse, thousands of alive ones or thousands of corpses. This space station is disgusting.

[shutupmarco]

Ugh, tell me about it. What ever happened to health codes? Food safety laws? Either way, I'd still prefer them dead. At least then they wouldn't be talking to me.

[ She gives her own takeout container an uneasy stare. ]

Looking at me.

[squanderlust]

"Food safety"? Can your kings not think of anything better to put into law? A boar survives in nature, and we're more than able to survive on the boar.

[shutupmarco]

[ Okay, she can't help it. She lets out a little snort at "kings". Sure, Rachel lives in the middle of a secret alien invasion, but somehow the fact that Severa comes from someplace that sounds like out of one of Marco's video games is just a little much for her to take entirely seriously. Sometimes. ]

If you had McDonalds where you come from, you'd be pretty glad for food safety laws. Things work a little differently in my world.

[squanderlust]

Clearly! [gods, this is going to turn into a confusing conversation very fast. faster if Rachel keeps snorting.]

If this food is so unsafe to begin with, why do you continue to eat it?

[shutupmarco]

Uh, 'cause there isn't exactly a Subway in the Zeta markets. It's either this or starve. I'm not exactly making big bucks here.

[squanderlust]

I mean at home. Gods, do you think I know nothing about survival?

[shutupmarco]

Huh? Oh. [ Man if Marco were here she's sure he'd spout a few interesting conspiracy theories. ] It's not like I eat that much of it. But it's cheap, so if you don't have a lot of money, I guess you don't really have a lot o options, either.

[squanderlust]

Why do you need money for your food to begin with? Has hunting died out with the rest of what you're calling your culture?

[shutupmarco]

[ Rachel hurriedly clears her throat to keep from laughing. She really likes Severa, okay, as much as they butt heads sometimes, she's trying not to just laugh in her face. But...hunting. If only Cassie were here, she'd sure have a few things to say about that. ]

For most of us, yeah. I mean...look around here. Do these people look like they do much hunting to you?

[squanderlust]

This is all magic and technology. I assumed your culture was closer to mine than to this.

But the krogan are probably fantastic hunters, now that you mention it.

[shutupmarco]

It wouldn't surprise me. [ okay yeah Rachel thinks the krogan are kind of awesome shut up ] But uh, no offense, I don't think our worlds are anything alike. I mean, this is all pretty weird, but...I've seen some things like it. Kind of.

[squanderlust]

I'm beginning to get the feeling that I come from the least technologically advanced world of all of us. [she's not sure how to feel about that.] At least you aren't acting insufferably superior about it. Small favors, I guess.

[shutupmarco]

Don't worry about it. I mean, yeah, compared to you we're pretty advanced, but all of the crazy hi-tech stuff I've seen before was all alien technology. And trust me, they've got the insufferably superior act down pat. [ She rolls her eyes, because Ax. Because Andalites. Rachel likes Ax well enough, but Christ could he be smug. ]

[squanderlust]

What exactly do you think this is to me, then? Simply calling technology alien has no meaning anymore. Turian? Asari? Gods, vorcha? I dread what their technology might look like.

[shutupmarco]

Look, I'm from a totally different world. We don't even have krogans and turians where I'm from. Look, until a year ago, I was just a normal kid, until suddenly you find out aliens are real and they're already invading. I don't understand how most of this stuff works any better than you do.

[ That's probably not true, but hey, ask Rachel to explain Z-space or how morphing works and see what kind of answer you get. ]

[squanderlust]

...Do you mean to tell me that there are other aliens? Ones that aren't these? [just when she thought she'd been getting a handle on things.] How enormous is this universe, anyway?

[shutupmarco]

No, no -- not this universe. My universe. Back home, everything was all normal, until we found out there were aliens, and they were invading. But it was never anything like this.

[squanderlust]

Gods, Rachel, has every universe experienced something like this except mine? Stepping backwards into the flow of time to avoid the destruction of the world by the avatar of a fell god among dragons is one thing, but alien invasions?

[there is zero sense of self-awareness in her words.]

[shutupmarco]

[ Rachel just gives Severa a look. The only appropriate look for a bomb like that dropped into a conversation. The what the fuck look. And you have to try hard to get the what the fuck look out of Rachel, Severa. ]

[squanderlust]

[and Severa's face beams with the smuggest look she can possibly manage.]

Did you think I was joking, all those times I said I'd killed a god?

[shutupmarco]

[ Rachel looks a little like she's just bitten into a lemon. Tartly, she says: ]

I guess I didn't really think about it.

Look, I don't know anyone from any other universe who's had an alien invasion like ours happen. And trust me, it's weird. But you think time travel is normal?

[squanderlust]

Of course I do. I was brought backwards in time through the power of one of the Gods. That's perfectly explainable. [again, no shred of insincerity.] I can think of no God who would... outsource an invasion like the one that befell you.