03 | text

[tradecraftdude]

MISSING

PET PYJAK
ANSWERS 2 JOEY
DO NOT SHOOT
DO NOT EAT
DO NOT FEED BACON

RSPND 2 THIS MSG W/LEADS

[ Attached to the post is a slightly blurry photograph of a pyjak wearing a harness made out of cable ties, and a dogtag around its neck reads 'JOEY RAMOAN'. ]

Comments

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[tradecraftdude]

!!!!!!!!!!!111

WHERE R U

WHERES JOEY

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[traitortwin]

[ coordinates attached! ]

it left a few mins ago. don't know where, don't care. you'd better find it before I see it again.

text -> action

[tradecraftdude]

B RIGHT THERE DONT MOVE

[ Marco recognizes those coordinates; he'd been to Joker's place a few times, so he doesn't waste any time taking the fastest route to get there. On the way over, he's looking all up and down for the missing pyjak, but doesn't see any sign of him.

He's pretty out of breath from running by the time he gets there. ]

Joey? Joey! Where are you?

[traitortwin]

[She spots him, and she rolls her eyes. God, first that annoying monkey-rat, and now this...]

Why the hell would you keep a thing like that anyway? You obviously can't even train it right!

[tradecraftdude]

[ Marco whirls around at the voice. Lady, why are you so grouchy. ]

I saved him, okay! There was a burning building and those stupid dog things and he ate half my pizza and I couldn't not keep him after that! Which way did he go?

[traitortwin]

[If she had a nickel for every time that or something similar was asked...]

It ate your food and that made you want to keep it. Really. [She raises both eyebrows at him.]

It went that way. [Pause.] After I kicked it for being a little shit, so I doubt it got far.

[tradecraftdude]

[ Marco's about to just roll his eyes sprint off in the direction she indicates, but after that last bit, he pauses mid-step and gives her a horrified look. ]

Why the hell would you do something like that, you crazy bitch?! He's an innocent little animal!

[traitortwin]

[Have an incredulous laugh for your trouble, kid.]

Yeah sure, I'm a crazy bitch, and that's just some innocent little animal! It just looked like another stupid pyjak to me, and this one tried to piss on my shoes!

[tradecraftdude]

Joey wouldn't piss on anyone's shoes unless they did something to deserve it! [ that's a total lie, marco; pyjaks piss on everything ] He was probably making commentary on your winning personality!

[traitortwin]

Oh, that's not bullshit at all. I bet you that rat-monkey would piss on its own mother!

[tradecraftdude]

Maybe that's why he tried to piss on you! He probably mistook you for his mother!

[ And with that polite remark, Marco's going to turn around and start stomping off in a huff. ]

[traitortwin]

Right. Which makes it just as stupid as its owner. I wonder which one rubbed off on the other.

[Because South's got a bad habit of always wanting to have the last word. Not that she cares of Marco actually stops to continue this intelligent, thought-provoking conversation, though.]

[tradecraftdude]

[ Oh, no, Marco doesn't let anyone get the last word. He whirls around and shouts back. ]

At least I'm not stupid enough to stand around in a space monkey's line of fire! Better watch out, lady, 'cause when I find him I'm gonna train him to piss on your shoes on command!

[traitortwin]

Oh, I didn't just stand there! I told you, I kicked it! And I'll do it again - or worse - if I see it again, so you'd better keep the stupid thing away from me!

[tradecraftdude]

You mess with Joey again and I'll be on you like shit on velcro, lady!

[ He makes the universal gesture for 'I've got my eyes on you' and starts stomping off again. ]