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[well if this isn't freaking great.

so, he's missed the part about zeta district being quarantined until just now, and he can't say he likes the look of what the hell is going on out there. he's seen these things before - because uh, didn't we just have to deal with this? come on! but it doesn't surprise him to see that here are still some stragglers left behind.

he peers into his omni-tool with one eyebrow raised, a very unimpressed expression sliding across his face.] So, I dunno about you guys, but I think I'm gonna stay inside for this one. It looks like it's raining bullets and damn if I didn't forget my bulletproof galoshes.

[pause.] I thought we got rid of all these things. Hey, either of you Shepards - what the hell's the deal?

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['just putting them out there', oh yes.]

I'm certain it does wonders. I've yet to find anything for my place just yet. I'm still disappointed that I can't have a dog here.

[which, of course, leads to:]

Think I could have a look at yours for some ideas?

[yes, just putting it out there. don't you go thinking it's something different, missy.

he tilts his head to the side a little bit, though.] Well .. you could have a varren, but .. I wouldn't recommend it. Even as .. pups? Would you even call 'em that? Anyway, even when they're small they're pretty likely to take fingers off if you get too close. Unless you train 'em.

[but hello he's perking up a little bit.] What, right now? You sure you wanna risk going out with all those things running around?

[NO HE'S NOT CONCERNED STOP LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT.]

I've never even heard of a varren but I could certainly take a peek. It couldn't hurt. But I also don't have the money to afford to care for one. It wouldn't be a very wise investment for the time being.

[She flashes him a brief smile.]

Once I'm certain this part of the district is clear of survivors, yes. I can handle myself, trust me.

[And she'd feel guilty if something happened to him.]

They're the krogan substitute for dogs .. pretty fierce, if you ask me. I'm sure you could find a pup somewhere around the station that needed a home. They tend to kinda run around wild sometimes.

[and he gives her a tentative one right back and rubs at the back of his neck.] Well .. okay. You look like a big girl that can handle herself. I'll just sit here and pretend scary shit isn't happening outside.

They sound delightful. I'll take a look around for one.

[She...may or may not be serious. So far, the only krogan that she's met is the one from the Blood Pack and she's not exactly keen on meeting his friends. Or getting bashed in the head. But maybe a dog wouldn't be so bad.

Hawke laughs.]

Just lock your doors and windows and I'll be there as soon as I can.

Just .. [he has no idea what to say here, because he hadn't really been expecting her to actually find the idea of varren appealing.

so. lineface.] Be careful if you actually find one. They're known for taking fingers off even when they're that small. [again. not concerned for you or anything.

sigh.

he nods, though.] Sure thing, boss. I'll be waitin'. [tiny bit cheeky, yes. but that's joker for you.]

[Joker needs to figure out what mabari look like. He'd get a kick out of that.] Right, right. I'll be careful, I promise.

[The feed switches off. True to her word, there's three knocks at his door about...say, twenty minutes later. Only three, too. If it were an attacking adjutant, then they must be pretty patient to get someone to let them in.]

[clearly, someone needs to bring a mabari to the station. pretty sure he'd be interested in seeing a wardog that isn't covered in scales.

when the feed clicks off, he waits for her to actually get there - and once those three knocks come, he's up and shuffling across the floor to get the door.] If it's the big bad wolf, we don't have any pigs - just a frog, and he's not here.

[but he's opening the door, anyway, and peering outside.] Bring any pizza?

[She snorts.]

Be glad I'm not interested in either. I've no use for pigs.

[Hawke gives him a sideways look when he opens the door and she shrugs.] Would you believe all of the shops are closed? The nerve, really.

[he can't help but grin at her as he opens the door wider, clearly an invitation to come in out of the street.] Oh, good .. I guess you can come in, then.

[and a mock-shocked gape!] Seriously? Damn, you'd think they'd realize the business they could have during a zombie apocalypse. It's not like anyone wants risk going out to get food.

You 'guess' I can come in? That's quite a vote of confidence. I'm not going to start gnawing at anyone.

[But she grins as she steps inside, taking a brief look around. She turns back to him.] It's terrible. How else am I going to order anything around here? I'd complain to the woman in charge but...well, you know.

[Don't fuck with Aria and all that.]

[he can't stop grinning, really, because so far, teasing hawke has been the highlight of his time on omega. not like he's going to tell her that, though. because why would he?] So if you do start gnawing on me, I'll know something's wrong. Got it. You sure I don't need to watch my elbows, or anything?

[good lord, don't fuel the beast. he'll just keep going, and then you'll never hear the end of it.

he closes the door behind her, leans against it for a moment as he folds his arms across his chest.] Welcome to Casa de Joker .. and roommates. Since we can't get any take-out, I think I've got some crackers or something in the kitchen. It's not great, but .. what can you do?

[there's a snort for her comment. yeah, definitely don't fuck with aria.] I don't think she'd really care about everything being closed, anyway. She's probably got her own personal stash in that lair of hers.

[because that just makes her sound more sinister. sure, let's go with it.]

Elbows don't seem very meaty, do they? If I was really hungry, I'd start elsewhere. ...Not sure where, as I'm not a cannibal, but it wouldn't be there. Your precious elbows are safe.

[she shoots him a brief grin from over her shoulder, looking around the apartment. it's the same size as the one she has with Isabela...but theirs looks lived in. hers is empty.] That's all right. Like I said, not so hungry. Something about screeching metal monsters just doesn't sit right with me.

[she settles a hand on her hip.]

Is that really what she has?

It was the first ridiculous thing I could come up with. [he says this, of course, with that ever-present smirk and a shake of his head.] Good to know mine'll be safe, though. I kind of need them.

[he steps away from the door and makes his way over to the couch, gesturing silently that she's more than welcome to sit, if she so chooses. he does, more of a flop onto the cushions than anything, and he sighs.] Right, yeah .. can't blame you on that front. Can't say I've had much of an appetite since this whole thing started, either. [he shrugs, like it's no big deal. because it really isn't - at least not to him.]

Wouldn't surprise me to find that she did, really I expect her to have a whole lot of shit we don't know about. Like an arsenal full of badass guns that could totally take care of our monster problem if she would just pony up and help us out.

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