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oo1. | ℒ | video
[The girl on the video that you're watching appears to be extremely confident. Her posture is straight, not rigid, but definitely trying to impress upon others that she's not going to take any bullshit. Her strawberry blonde hair is swept back, small braids pulling the sides of her hair away and tucked into a small gathering. The rest lays flat and she hopes makes her seem older than she is.]
I've been here only a short time and I've seen how quickly things can go to hell. [This is actually something she has experience in and her tone of voice does not imply that she's concerned for these sort of incidents.]
I do realize, that my current employment, the job that everyone has at first, seems to be well-suited for someone that isn't as overqualified as I am. As such, I'm looking for something more challenging. I've attached a file to this video that lists my skills and my preferred fields of employment. [Those looking at the file will see an impressive list of mathematical and science qualifications. She shows proficiency in analytical and practical maths. She's also familiar with spatial theory and physics. Her areas of knowledge for science edge toward chemistry and physiology. She marks down that she is familiar with the anatomy of humans from Earth. She also lists her organization and willingness to lead.]
I know that the range of inhabitants here is not limited to human, but I am a fast learner and I am more than willing to do the work to learn. [It feels good to state her intelligence; to not worry that someone will judge her for it or look at her differently. She has a different level to achieve, to strive for and if that means presenting herself in the best possible light for this setting -- that's what she'll do.]
Any interested parties can contact me with any suggestions or offers for employment.
no subject
I'm already here, Stiles. I've already been hurt - more than a few times and no one was there for me then, no one warned me off of whatever was going on and now that I've given you some glimpse into my reality... [She's yelling. She realizes this and she draws inward. Her mouth closes into a tight line and she holds her tongue before continuing in a calmer tone.]
It matters if you get hurt, but I'm not out there thinking that every single thing you do - no matter how idiotic or dumb I think it is is - is going to get you hurt.
So don't you dare stand there and tell me that I can't actually be useful, because of some percentage of risk that you've calculated. Of some hidden desire to keep me safe when you clearly failed at it before. [It feels like she's slapped him with that one. She regrets it the second it comes out of her mouth, because she knows that it was her choice to look for Jackson. It was her desires that put her on that field. She can't take her words back and she's not even sure if she wants to. There had been other times, other instances where the simple truth would've kept her safe... safer.]
Look, I already put it out there and I'm not taking it down. So, you can keep your opinions on what a walking target I am for being victimized to yourself.
no subject
Because it is true. The lies they'd told her had apparently endangered her more, because if they'd said something, maybe she would have told them about Peter. About feeling like she was in a nightmare.
And her words make him flinch in kind like she has slapped him, looking away when she stops speaking. He has failed, in multiple ways, and the first was the one that snowballed all of her problems with Peter. ]
Okay.
[ It's the only thing he can say, now, to that, knowing he shouldn't feel like the one that's hurt but feeling that way anyway. ]
... For what it's worth, I'm sorry. And it's never been because I thought you were weak.
[ But because he wanted to 'protect' her doesn't excuse it and he knows it. ]
no subject
When he accepts it, she exhales. A simple word and a near defeated tone coming from him. The tone makes her frown, disliking that she's created this sort of environment. She's going to have to share this space and to be honest, she's just grateful that Rachel isn't somewhere trying to ignore this happening.
Her hands close, drawing into tight fists at her sides to keep herself from wringing them. She wants to rub her thumb across her palm, to make her thumb make that small crackle of sound when it flexes. Instead she's still as she hears his apology. It feels too little, too late, but she knows that he's trying and she realizes that it's difficult to apologize when you're removed from the situation entirely. It's hard for her to talk about it. To think that she's been ripped away from that and it could not matter at all. She could have been pulled here alone and no one would have known.]
Thank you. [She accepts the apology with quiet words, now unsure of what to do. This isn't her best friend where they cry and accept that life sucks and then they hug and go shopping after ice cream. This is Stiles and she lives with him.
She doesn't ask him why, because she's sure she doesn't want to know. It doesn't matter why it happened, because it did. There's nothing that can change that and all she's trying to do is move on from that.
Lydia just needs to make sure people let her.]
no subject
He could have been here alone and yes, that would have been worse. It's unfair to sometimes wish he had Scott here, but that's how he's feeling right now, a crushing feeling in his chest.
He is glad Rachel isn't here to see them fighting, and after a moment, he speaks. ]
Good luck. I'm gonna...
[ He points to his room and then beats a hasty retreat and think about what he's done. ]
no subject
Lydia's still out there, though, and while Rachel doesn't have any problem with her, she...really doesn't know her very well, either. She's not even entirely sure how cool Lydia is with her staying here. Well, whatever. It's only temporary, right?
She approaches Lydia with a sympathetic smile, tossing her hair over one shoulder. Maybe they can get along if she appeals to Lydia with common ground. ]
Guys, huh?
no subject
I didn't know you were home, I wouldn't have... it's not his place to try and tell me what I should do while I'm here. [She's careful with her words, mostly because she knows Stiles is in his room and if Rachel could hear them, then Stiles can hear this.
It's not a good situation, regardless.]
I'm sorry if we disturbed whatever you were doing.
no subject
No, really, you don't have to apologize. I mean...this is your place and all. You weren't bothering me, I promise.
[ She smiles at Lydia, genuinely. Sure, Rachel can fake it, but honestly, she feels for Lydia. ]
All guys can be jerks some of the time, even when they're trying to help. Especially when they're trying to help. [ She doesn't sound condescending, though, like she's coming down hard on Stiles, just...sympathetic. She's been there too, okay. ] For what it's worth? I think it's great you're trying so hard to put yourself out there.
no subject
Well, we'll see if it even gets me anywhere. So far all it's gotten me is a lot of trouble for my efforts.
no subject
[ It sounds fake, but it's not. Rachel doesn't usually get this honest with somebody she doesn't know all that well, but the truth is, she can respect Lydia. The girl knows what she wants, and she's going for it. That's a quality that Rachel can appreciate -- and one she values in herself, too. Her smile is just a touch sheepish, and she shrugs her shoulders. ]
Sorry, I didn't mean to get all personal on you. Just -- I think you should go for it, is all. And I'm going to, too. I know money doesn't come easy around here.
no subject
It's okay though, too. I mean, the personal part. I think it's natural to just ramble when you're trying to make someone feel better and I know that's what you were trying to do.