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agent carolina

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[The voice that comes through is hesitant at first, but hardens quickly. She sounds strained, hoarse, and like she's struggling to stay alert.]

This is Agent Carolina.

[A pause.]

Sorry, I'm not familiar with this hardware--

[She draws in a sharp breath, as though startled by something.]

I'm--in need of medical attention. And I need to reach UNSC command. Any help directing me to the appropriate channels would be appreciated.

[Her closing sounds almost automatic.]

Carolina out.

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[ Carolina nods. She has to admit, it was starting to feel like things were falling apart. CT, the failed missions, the team splintering, Wash's implantation...

She just never realized anybody else felt that way.

Maybe her York felt the same. It's hard to imagine. He was always so glib and confident, about everything, he didn't understand... or maybe she never really knew how to talk to him about it. Because he would've brushed it off, would've started telling her how it was all going to be fine, she was fine, everything was fine. Wouldn't he?

If he thought everything was falling apart too then why didn't he ever say that? Why did he wait until--

Her jaw tenses at that last part.

Until that. ]

Yeah. I know. Tex.

[ York looks at her with genuine bafflement, looking thrown by Carolina's assumption, which seems out of left field. Tex? York hadn't had much of a relationship with Tex, one way or the other -- she'd had other concerns, and Tex had always done something funny to Epsilon. Now she knows why. ]

Wh -- Tex? Why -- no, no. Trust me, Tex did not need my help. I told you, things are different in my timeline.

[ She clears her throat, shaking her head. It's clear that this Carolina is working on her own set of assumptions, none of which she seems all that inclined to share with York wholesale. She still doesn't quite look at Carolina, rubbing her hand over one arm. ]

Doesn't matter who it was. I couldn't get to 'em, anyway. Never had the chance.

[ Well, that's... not what Carolina was expecting.

(She never figured Tex would need York's help. Which made it sting all the more that he gave it to her. Even if what Wash told her is true in her timeline. )

She has no idea what York's talking about. Doesn't seem to match up with anything she knows. But from the look on York's face, it cuts pretty deep, whatever it is. Carolina almost can't look her in the eye. It's weird. A kind of vulnerability her York rarely showed her. They just... weren't like that. Funny, it never bothered her until right now.

Whatever it is, doesn't seem like York wants to talk about it so she doesn't ask. It's not her, that much she's pretty sure of. This York didn't greet her that way, hasn't acted the way you would if... god, how would you even act. So there was somebody else.

Weird. She's not even sure how to feel about that.

Carolina nods slowly.

She could tell her about what happened with her York, but she's not feeling much like talking about it, either. ]

Very different, it sounds like. What happened, at the end? After they took your AIs?

[ She doesn't need to know that, admittedly. But it's easier than asking about other things. ]

[ Part of York is relieved that Carolina doesn't ask, doesn't press the issue. She doesn't feel the need to relive all of that over again. But it's not like it's a secret. It's not like she minds anyone else knowing, even if she knows that the thought of her and Wash together might strain Carolina's admittedly reluctant acceptance of the situation.

But it's not a secret. It was never meant to be.

York shakes her head, shrugging again. She wishes she knew about the future of her timeline. She knows what happened in Wash's, but everything where he's from is so different to begin with that York can't possibly use it as any kind of metric to predict might happen in hers. ]

Don't know. Like I said, I never got the chance. I got yanked out of my universe less than twelve hours after they took D.

[ She rubs her hand over the back of her neck, almost unconsciously. The chipslot's been empty for more than a year now. She's never quite gotten used to the empty feeling in the space in her mind where Delta had used to be. ]

I was wrong to let 'em.

[ Carolina watches York's hand go to her neck. Wonders if she'll still be doing that herself, a year.

York always did have some kind of special relationship with Delta. Not something she understand, really, even after she got hers. Eta and Iota weren't like that, and they were with her such a short time... She misses them, she doesn't miss them, she's not sure yet. It was a rough ride, but she could handle it, she was determined to handle it, and then she didn't get the chance. Still, she's pretty sure it's not the same kind of missing York's feeling.

Her next question's genuinely curious. ]

How so?

[ It's hard to ignore the curiosity in Carolina's voice. Hell, she focuses on it. It's easier to latch onto than thinking too hard about the hole Delta left in her consciousness. ]

I could've bailed before, you know. D figured it out last minute, what they were gonna do. There would've been time for us to get gone. But it would've only been us. There wasn't enough time to get anyone else out.

[ She stops, draws in a breath. She doesn't know how many times she's recounted the details of her timeline to others by now, but it feels different every time. She's grieved David and moved on, but Delta...that still stings. ]

It was D who made the call. I couldn't, y'know. Makin' that kinda choice, it's not -- anyways, he had a plan. He knew how I could do it, how I could get him out, I just had to...let 'em take D. Pretend like I didn't know it was happening, 'cause I couldn't attract any attention to myself.

[ She can't help a short laugh, more of a derisive huff than anything else. ]

Except I got yanked out of my universe not twelve hours later, before I could do anything. I didn't get to save anybody.

[ Carolina meets York's eyes for a few seconds, then looks away. She's quiet for a long moment.

She almost says, Neither did I. But if what Wash told her is true, she had it backwards the whole time.

She wouldn't have saved anybody anyway.

She almost says something about that, too, but when she tries, her brain just... stalls out. She can't even begin to pull apart the layers of confusion and regret, never mind find words for them. Words she could say to somebody who's a stranger and not at the same time?

Forget it.

She has to wonder, now, how much of her York's planning was Delta's. One more unanswerable question, as though she needed more.

At this point, it seems like that's all she's going to get. ]

Seems to happen at the worst possible times.

[ York lets out a short, humorless laugh at that. It seems almost uncharacteristic of her. She shrugs, arms still crossed, and directs her eyes back up at the ceiling. ]

Yeah, I guess it does.

[ She's readjusted since Delta's removal, but she misses the feeling of balance she always had when he was with her. Like she always had a safety net. And the way York lived, god knows she needed it.

Even with her mind on Delta, it's impossible to ignore the way Carolina's looking at her. Like she's trying to find some kind of answer in York's story. York knows that the guy Carolina had known -- something had gone down between them. She's figured out that much. But she doesn't know any more than that, and she's not so sure Carolina's in a sharing mood.

She sucks on her teeth almost contemplatively, letting out a long, slow breath through her nose. She looks back down at Carolina, trying not to look as uneasy as she feels. ]

You seem surprised.

[ Carolina snorts.

She doesn't mean for it to sound derisive. It does anyway. ]

Everyone I know either turned against me, went crazy, or left me behind for dead. I drag myself out of a frozen hole in the ground, and get thrown into another universe. What's left for me to be surprised about?

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my turn to apologize for going ghost