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agent carolina

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[The voice that comes through is hesitant at first, but hardens quickly. She sounds strained, hoarse, and like she's struggling to stay alert.]

This is Agent Carolina.

[A pause.]

Sorry, I'm not familiar with this hardware--

[She draws in a sharp breath, as though startled by something.]

I'm--in need of medical attention. And I need to reach UNSC command. Any help directing me to the appropriate channels would be appreciated.

[Her closing sounds almost automatic.]

Carolina out.

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[ Wash is waiting. He's watching her to see how she reacts and she can't. She can't do this in front of him. She can't process this in front of him, let him see it on her face. She's not even sure she can think about whether to believe this until she can be alone. Preferably somewhere she can scream.

She hardens her jaw and forces a laugh. ]

That's completely illegal--how would he even have--

[ "He's broken major laws." She can still hear that. God, she'll never stop seeing that mission play over and over in her head. ]

How could you possibly know that?

Epsilon.

[ Wash's gaze finally drops. His fingers go to the slot on the back of his neck before he can stop himself, trace over the scars from where he tried to pry it out with his bare hands. ]

He was Alpha's memory. All of the fragments, the pieces that broke off -- they were different parts of his personality. Delta was Alpha's logic. Omega was his rage. Sigma was his creativity, Omega was his rage. And Epsilon-- Epsilon remembered everything.

[ He looks back up, his voice soft. ]

Why do you think I snapped the second they tried to put him in me?

Edited 2013-06-28 01:34 (UTC)

[ She wasn't there when Wash came out of surgery.

Told herself it wasn't a big deal. She was fresh out of recovery herself, after her... collapse. Days behind on her training. She needed to get back in shape, needed to adjust to the AIs and learn how to work with them. The others would be there for Wash when he woke up.

As it turned out, none of them got to see him that day anyway.

She still feels guilty for not being there. It was always one thing or another. One right for one wrong, one success for one failure, and that was on a good day. ]

I--I didn't know.

[ She never even asked the Director what had happened. A recalculation, he said. Change in plans. All she could think was that she was about to lose her only chance at getting her place back. He'd lied about Tex before. For all she knew, Tex would be the one who got to keep her AI. And she'd never stand a chance against her again. No one would. He'd given her everything, she once thought. And then he tried to take it all back.

She can't do this in front of Wash. This Wash, any Wash.

Her voice goes flat, her face as blank as she can make it. She can't quite meet his eyes. ]

I didn't know. No one did. They didn't tell us much.

I know.

[ His voice is still low. Quiet, in a way she's probably never heard before. It's not just the years he has on her -- it's the experience, and all he's seen, between his universe and the next. ]

I know, Carolina. It's okay.

[ Wash closes his fingers over hers. Keeps looking at her face, even if she can't return his gaze. He'll give her all the time she needs. ]

I don't blame you for it. For anything. You were just as much a victim of it as I was. That's why I'm telling you all of this now, Carolina. Because I need you to know that I understand, better than anyone. That I know what happened. And I'm here.

[ His lips curve up into a half-smile. ]

You can trust me.

[ True, the words don't sound the same coming from Wash. But they make her jaw clench anyway, just at the memory.

Something like anger flares in her throat. It's irrational, she knows, but pity's always infuriated her. Some deeper, steadier part of her knows Wash doesn't mean it that way, but it's hard to reach that part of her right now. When everything's just spinning. And not from the concussion this time.

She needs him to stop. She needs to know but she needs him to stop, she needs it all to stop. She doesn't respond for a minute, but when she does her voice is tight. ]

I don't know, Wash. I don't know how to trust anyone anymore.

I know. God, I know.

[ Wash lets go of her hand, gives her space. ]

I don't expect you to trust me right now. I spent years not trusting anybody-- and even when I learned how again, it wasn't easy. I turned on people who'd done nothing wrong, people who had been used just as badly as I had. I just--

[ "Carolina, it wasn't your fault."

"But it was my AI." ]

I don't want to see the same thing happen to you. So... I'm here.

Edited 2013-07-04 20:25 (UTC)

[ Carolina looks away.

The way he looks at her's just too intense. Can't get used to Wash looking so much older, for one. Well, technically yes, he was always older than her, yeah, but she'd never... well... thought of him that way. She was the team leader, after all. And he was Wash.

Then, too, she just doesn't understand where all this is coming from. This... concern. See what happen to her? Only she doesn't want to know. She can't take in anything else right now. Just can't. Maybe if she gives him a neutral answer, he'll give it a rest for now. ]

Okay.

Okay.

[ Wash draws back a little. He knows this has to be -- well, this has to be damn near impossible for her to wrap her head around. Even now, though, he can't bring himself to think it was too much. As long as he watches out for her, makes sure it doesn't go the same way-- maybe it won't.

He just-- he has to try. ]

Okay. I'll-- you're probably exhausted. And you need time. Just-- if you need anything, call me. Okay?

[ He holds up his arm, his omni-tool shimmering into view. ]

It's okay, the line's secure. I've got a good tech. [ His lips quirk up a little. York would punch him for only calling her a tech. ]

[ Carolina nods.

He's not the Wash she knows, and they're not... teammates. She doesn't have a team here, maybe doesn't have one left at all. God only knows what's going on back home, without her.

But she's got somebody she can call on. Not sure how to feel about that. She's never been good at asking for help. Not without the built-in structure of the military, chain of command, all the necessary teamwork that comes along with it. Makes it easier. Without that... hell. How do you just ask somebody to help you? She hates to owe anybody anything.

But she has to admit there's some small comfort in that, even if it makes her uncomfortable. ]

Okay.

[ She pauses awkwardly. ]

I will.

'Kay.

[ He draws back. Gets up, gives her space. Sets the chair to the side, in case there are any other visitors. York's gonna want to see her, he knows. Gonna have to tell her to give Carolina a bit, but who's he kidding. Won't matter how long. It's gonna take Carolina a damn long time to process what he's told her.

Wash pauses when he reaches the doorway. Glances back. His gaze is steady. ]

I mean it. You need me, I'll come. No questions asked. All right?

[ It almost physically hurts, forcing herself to meet his eyes. And she does it, because she hates feeling weak and that, at least, makes her feel a little more in control.

Not much, but a little.

She nods. ]

Okay, Wash.

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