Video;

[tasteslikecoconut]

Okay. This?

[Watch him make a general jerking sweeping motion that encompasses everything about everything.]

Crap. All of it. [Now watch him tick off the crap with his fingers.]

So let's make a little count here: No water - meaning no water to make that very important concoction called coffee. That I can deal with. For now. Like, what, you can live a couple weeks without water, right? I can't live without coffee for more than a week tops.

But then! Then we have, what, space monkeys? They make noises. Weird ones! And they shit everywhere! But fine, space monkeys in space. Whatever, I'll deal.

No really, I'd deal with the space monkeys. Why? Because now there are god damn fish dogs. Like this one. This one right here.

[The video blurs for a moment before landing on a varren, with beady big blue eyes and it's breathing heavily, drooling on the grimy floor as if sizing up its next meal. Here's a hint: it's probably Tony. The video goes back to the genius not-so-billionaire not-quite-philanthropist, taking refuge on his countertop with a rusty frying pan.]

So yeah. Crap.

Comments

video;

[neverknocks]

[ Oh boy. York doesn't like the varren any more than you do, Tony, but at least she's got a gun. ]

Looks like you're a little cornered there, buddy.

Re: video;

[tasteslikecoconut]

[The look he's giving you right now, oohboy.]

Thanks! Had no idea!

[neverknocks]

[ eye roooolll ]

You want a hand with that thing?

[tasteslikecoconut]

Considering I might not have one in a few seconds? SURE. Why not. Jesus Christ it's so ugly! And it stinks!

[neverknocks]

You got a steak or something in that kitchen? Toss some food its way. It might be less interested in you. Gimme your location and I'll be over with some bullets.

[Video]

[starspangledspandex]

Is that in the apartment?

[The camera goes a little topsy turvy as Steve hurriedly stands up from his bed.]

[Video]

[tasteslikecoconut]

Aaaaah mmmmaybe?

[There's a vicious growl on the other side of the door, Steve, then Tony's eyes go wide in the video feed and it cuts out.]

[Video]

[starspangledspandex]

[The snarl answers his question and he picks up the shield as he bursts through the door. What is it even? He's not sure he wants to kill it so much as just get it out of here.

He bangs his hand on his shield to try to get its attention and he pairs it with a whistle. Hopefully it isn't eating his roommate. That would be good.]

Tony?

[video]

[dowhatittakes]

I would highly suggest killing that varren before it eats you. They're like sharks in the way that they hunt and kill.

[Liara is helpful, right?]

[VIDEO]

[calibrating]

Welcome to Omega, Tony. Population: Horribleness.

If you punch it in the snout, you should be okay. Just watch the jaws.